Kaaaay! i lost 10 pounds but it doesn't matter because its 10 out of 30 that i gained. i'm so pissed.

Anyway i fucked up the last 3 days so i'm getting back on track today.
I'm Going to check off each one of these every day.


[] Day one - 700 Calories
[] Day Two - 600 Calories
[] Day Three -  500 Calories
[] Day Four - 600 Calories
[] Day Five - 500 Calories
[] Day Six - 700 Calories
[] Day Seven - 500 Calories
[] Day Eight - 600 Calories
[] Day Nine - 500 Calories
[] Day Ten - 600 Calories
[] Day Eleven - *Weigh In* : 1000 Calories.

Today's "What i want to look like when i'm skinny"

Today's Meal Plan

K so it says the best way to get back on your diet is to plan your meals so i'm going to do that..

Breakfast: Smiley's - 150 calories
Lunch: 2 Pieces of toast with Pb& J - 250 calories
Snack: Some nuts and bolts  - 100 calories
Supper can be - 300 calories
Snack can be - 200 calories

I know i'm eating a lot but it's just to start off (;

Sorry I've Been Gone Soooo Long D:

Quick Thinsporation. 

Anyway sorry for being away for so long, i was going through a stoner munchie faze. But I'm sure today's the day i get back on track :D wish me luck..1000 calorie intake today. awh sheit.. i can SO! do this. 

Halloween.

So i keep telling myself i binged last night because it was halloween. But i know i'm wrong. it's cause i have no self control and got high.

Anyway .. again.. starting again. i'm such a loser. Blog later tonight. FML

Food Log

Food Log
Banana - 50 calories 
Fortune Cookie - 25 calories 
Bread+ Ketchup - 75 calories 
Crepe - 150 calories 
Apple+Peanut Butter - 50 calories 
Some Protein bar - 25 calories 
TOTAL 375 calories

so when i go home i have 200 calories left for the day. 

ahaa!

so in my class their all eating cake and they tried to get me to eat a piece and i was like no sorry .. i feel so in control (: 
Like really though why would i eat that.. it's FULL of sugar.. and fat. 
+ i can just eat my healthier snack when i go home ahaa.
i knew it was gunna be a good week (: <3 

New Week = New Start.

Yesterday's food log.
Breakfast: Bowl of soup - 200 calories 
Snack: Nothing
Supper: Bowl of soup - 200 calories 
Snack: Banana - 90 calories 
Dessert: Special K bar - 90 calories 
TOTAL:  580 calories .
Well so far today i've ate an egg white omelet : 98 calories and a piece of pizza bread - 125 calories.
It's going to be a good day .. i can feel it.. and i'm going to start excersising for a hour and a half instead of one. wish me luck (: <3 

Oh god!

Sorry i havn't been on in the past 2 days .. uggg i fucked up.. I'm at my dads and last night i got reallllly stoned and ended up munching out obviously.. the day before too but not as bad as yesterday .. like the day before i gained nothing but didn't lose anything. and I'm not able to calculate what my weight is now because my dad doesn't have an accurate scale but it's probably NOT good. i ate over 2000 calories..
oh god,i was so stoned i don't remember what all i ate, and what time i went to bed.
Anyway at least it was the last little bit of weed i had.. well 5 grams.. i smoked it all so now i have none so there is NO chance of me fucking the rest of this week up lol.
ugg i just wish i could smoke weed and not get the munchies kinda thing.. because i CANNOT control them.. obviously lol.
Anyway it's better than last week when i gained five pounds, i probably only gained two.. which still isn't good at all and I'm completely disgusted with myself.. but I'll start over again today and work harder to get to my goal (: 
So far today i have had 150 calories (a bowl of homemade soup).

Anyway sorry for ranting again lol .. been a pretty shitty week aha this week will be better (:

<-- what i looked like yesterday (not actually me)

Do it to be able to brush off all the negitive comments.

although i had a awful morning, crying over what i look like. The rest of the day's been good.
I got to wear a care bear mascot costume for costume day which is cool and a lot of people pointed it out in the hallway, but i would NOT tell anyone who i was. later I'm going to my friends party.. and of coarse it F.R.I.D.A.Y.

it's going to be a pretty cool night, and hopefully i'll post again when i get home (10-11pm)

So far today i've ate 2 small! slices of pizza not the best idea.. 150 calories all together. ( i dabbed of the grease and didn't eat the crust as well.

People Live To Eat .. I On The Other Hand Eat To Live

wooooh my boyfriends not mad at meee (: i thought he was lol .. thank god i love this boy <3 

Anywaaay food log time (: 

Breakfast: Shepard's pie - 100 calories 

Lunch: Shepard's pie - 100 calories 

Snack:  a small banana and like 3 chips .. 100 calories 

Supper: Half a cup of potatoes/carrots/gravy/pork - 2-- calories 

Dessert: A English muffin with raspberry jam - 100 calories

  i also burnt 300 calories (: & lost two pounds since yesterday.. sorry if I've already mentioned that I'm just kinda proud (:

Food Log For October 24th (Wednesday)

Sorry i forgot to update yesterday .. i had a busy day.. well busy for me i guess.. you see I get home at 3-3:30 and have a snack, then i waited for my mom to watch wrong turn 5 with me ... which is new and i was sooo excited! but of coarse i could of been exercising for the hour i waited .. stupid me -.-

Anyway by the time the movie was over it was 7pm because i ended up watching it at 5pm. So i ate supper, then at 7:45 exercised till 8:50. and burned 293 calories. then it was time for my dessert (2 sugar free wafer sticks 80 calories.) then it was time to watch adventure time.. my all time favorite show.. then bed.. i NEED to go to bed at 9-9:30 every night.. or i have no energy what so ever and just come home from school and sleep.

so anyway on to my food log

Breakfast: An egg white on half a English muffin - 92 calories 

Lunch: Shepard pie - 150 calories 

Snack: Yogurt with fruit - 50 calories 

Supper: Shepard's pie - 200 calories 

Dessert: 2 sugar free wafer sticks - 80 calories 

TOTAL: 572 calories

Weigh in ... -2 pounds ! (: 

  <-- girl from wrong turn 5.

Everything Looks Good On Skinny

LOL so i'm in this really annoying reformatory high school.. not because I'm stupid.. because i use to skip with my friends all the time. But I'm going to St. Joes or RCI next semester.. finally out of reformatory since I've been doing so good and i want to be able to wear and look nice in, really pretty clothing, like aero postal sweaters and dressy kind of things. 

So i need to lose at least 30 more pounds before the beginning of next semester.. i really hope i can do it... like i;m so pathetic.. I've only lost 15 pounds since the beginning of summer.. like what the fuck is wrong with meeeee ?! oh well... it doesn't matter how slow i go as long as i don't stop.. 

but really now is the time when it does matter... because i have about 72 days until next semester... and i know I'm going to screw up at least 6 of them .. aaaah .. i can do this!! sorry for ranting there is just sooo much on my mind. 

 Like yesterday .. in class i had to go in the back room because i was so upset with gaining a pound.. i just completely broke down all day.. i didn't stop feeling sorry for myself until this morning when i weighed in and lost 3 pounds since yesterday. probably a pound of water weight tho.. 

Again, sorry for ranting there is just so much on my mind and this seems like the perfect place to be able to get it all off my plate. 

Food Log

Breakfast: egg white on an english muffin  90 calories 

Lunch: flaked ham wrap - 180 calories 

Snack: Yougart Parfait - 35 calories 

Supper: Shepard's pie - 150 calories 

Dessert: Cake n' sauce - 150 calories

TOTAL: 605 calories

lol i also had a good cry that i couldn't keep in.. god i feel so disgusting and worthless today i hope it passes :'(

Failure.

So last night i ended up eating a Banana - 90 calories and a peanut butter square - 50 calories
TOTAL: 140 calories 

so total from last night is 740 

which is lameeee! but some day i shall have my self control.
I thought of trying the ABC diet but i don't even think i have enough self control for that so I'll just try 600 again... i hope i can stop being fat soon :( I'm soo pathetic.
So far today i have had a flaked ham wrap -  190 calories and a egg white on half of a English muffin : 92 calories ... so far not to good.. i thought i was a good idea but now that i think about it it's really not.. tomorrow I'll make something healthy like a yogurt parfait for lunch.
So by the time i get home I'll have 25  calories.. so some yogurt.. got i feel so disgusting. and you all probably think of me as that too.. I'll have better control i promise.
-NOT IN A GOOD MOOD-!
I crave to be skinny.

Food Log

Breakfast: Yogurt - 50 calories 
Lunch: Pizza wrap - 160 calories 
Snack: Hamburger helper 1/3 cup - 80 calories 
Supper Vegetables - 40 calories  + Stir-fry - 80 calories + half a homemade egg roll 50 calories = 170 calories 
Dessert: Special K bar - 90 calories 
TOTAL: 550 calories . 

i also exercised for a hour and burned 293 calories. 
so all-in-all after fucking up the last 3 days and gaining 3 pounds i think today went oooook ! 

New Beginning, New Blog

well hello there (: 

I'm Mackenzie ... I haven't been on any of my other blogs in a long time so i figured it's time to just start a new one, plus the last two turned out like shit so maybe this one will be the one i stick with (:

For those of you who don't know me i am Pro Ana ... well at least that's what the doctors say.. but you can't be anorexic if you eat 600- calories a day so that is obviously a load of bull shit .

I created this blog to keep in contact with others like me, and to surround myself in the Pro Ana community & also to just have a place to vent my thoughts without being judged so if you are going to bitch at me for my life style then you can just hit next blog;) 

I look at Thinspiration on a daily basis and even have my own little thinspiration site... you can check it out if you'd like ;) Mackenzie Foxtonn's Thinspiration